Stressed

new blog post new day new story..

what do i have for you today

nothing much but lots and lots of stress


this should be a happy blog site but it just goes to show that even a happy blog can be filled with hard and sad posts.

but not for long la

i don't want this blog to be like my old one.

the emo blog XD

ASC is the Asian Session's and Council. Held in St. Lukas' Centre, Kota Padawan and it starts
from the 4th till the 14th of June.

this takes up the holidays that i was looking forward to having my intensive study for my exam..

but..God's calling to serve for this ASC although i've been through alot of HELL lately..

and i mean ALOTTTT of hell..

i don't wanna go into details but before this ASC i've went through a month of severe depression which left me half dead and my parents almost brought me to the hospital for check up.

but with the help of my family and friends, i managed to pick myself up from that period of depression and let go of everything that i had.

well, not really everything but most of the things la.

it wasn't easy then and its still not easy now 'cos i found it harder and harder each living day.

until recently, i broke down during the ASC but i can't tell when.. don't want to reveal too much info.. sorry..

this stress from before ASC and during ASC caused me to burst inside out and everything in me went blank..

literally blank..

there was this deep void in me that i don't think can be filled in this short time when people keep coming to me, saying, "stay strong..time will heal everything.."

same thing same old same old..

heh..its just hard when you keep getting complaints when you practically did nothing wrong or you actually accomplished that particular task without fail or you just do according to what they told you to do and they still want to find fault in you.

its just unfair when you can't say anything about it or even defend yourself about that task that you did properly...sucks much..

well, again i say.. its just hard when you keep doing the right stuff but more and more and more problems keep piling up and you're the one to blame for it when it has nothing to do even with you.. imagine the pain of being stabbed in the back over and over and over again..

and you see yourself bleeding from all those stabs and you can't do anything about it.

that's what i'm feeling right now and its super hard for me to get over this pain.

that's all that i can say for now.. i don't wanna fill up this post with my rants and complains..

read well

cyaz..