Wednesday, August 19, 2009

never ending..

The Life Long Love


When I saw her I knew,
She had to be mine,
Her eyes so blue,
She smelled sweet as wine.

And finally I had her in my heart,
For the first time I was truly glad,
From her I never wanted to part,
I knew being with her never made me sad.

But then, it happened . . .

The sky fell,
The seas overflowed,
Away went her beautiful smell,
And my heart soon slowed.

If me and her were meant to be I don't know . . .

For the feelings are still there,
And when I see her my heart will still drop,
If she left my life I could not bear,
I know my love for her will never stop.

no answers at all..

No Answers


I look to my fingers to write out some wisdom,
I look up above to try and read the Kingdom,
I look all around, in and out, even crawl through to see,
But all I can find is there are no answers for me.

Hesitant at first to admit my feelings inside,
But as time went on, I could no longer hide.
I fell, and fell hard, and had not one regret,
When my heart found love, my mind was set.

You, you were wonderful, too good to be true,
That saying is valid, for I no longer have you.
You came and went, leaving me alone
And now I'm recovering in the place from which I was thrown.

I know more now than when first I came,
What I know now is my feelings are not the same.
So mixed up and jumbled; never making sense
The only thing clear is life is no white picket fence.

I miss falling into you, knowing that you're there,
But now I know that's with somebody else you share.
I won't ask questions because silence will follow,
But I just want to know how much longer my heart will be hollow.

Always

Always


I wish you were here
I wish you were close
and those are the times that I'm wishing the most.

I gave you that ring you wear on your hand
and like time in an hour glass, you slip away like sand.

I want you so bad to hold, and to touch
and that is because I love you so much.

And I want you to know whatever you do
I will always be here

and I will always love you.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Gentlemen Don't

Gentlemen Don't by Gabe Bondoc



You run your fingers across my lips
No I've never felt like this before, no, no
I know I'm young but I know love
And I'd know I know an angel if I saw one

But I know very well
Gentlemen don't kiss and tell
And I promise I won't tell the world
If you say you want to be my girl
In your words..

I'm just a simple man, simple plans,
Good work, take care of my fam,
I'm sure you understand
Because you're heaven sent, independent,
Do you think you need me?
I think I need you girl, baby can't you see?

But I know very well
Gentlemen don't kiss and tell
And I promise I won't tell the world
If you say you want to be my girl
In your words..

Ooh.. ohh.. yea..

Cards on the table
Willing and able
Stable, capable
Of holding you down
I'm just sayin..
I'm not complaining
Your love is worth waiting for

But I know very well

Gentlemen don't kiss and tell
And I promise I won't tell the world
If you say you want to be my girl
In your words..

But I know very well
Gentlemen don't kiss and tell
And I promise I won't tell the world
If you say you want to be my girl

Monday, August 3, 2009

sick..anyone?

our school just had a medical screening today and two of my friends were sent home..due to their body temperature being too high?....well, one of them was 38.8 degrees the other a surprising 39.4 degrees Celsius..even the pegawai there was shocked to see the temperature being that high..

mine was okay..was a normal 37 degrees..so ya, went on okay throughout school..but then..after coming back from school, i started coughing, sneezing, have runny nose, and headaches...now i'm burning up..my body's getting warmer, and sitting in front of the fan doesn't help at all.. bleh..

i'm gonna take my meds later hoping it would work things out..so ya..

anyways, this is for everyone out there..try and be healthy in any way possible..

cya =)

*cough**sneeze**cough**peng*

Saturday, July 25, 2009

more quotes..sad..ain't it..

" There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."

" The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up."

" Someday never really comes, does it?"

" No one can promise they’ll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end."

" It's always the same in every relationship, there is always one person crying and wishing to get back together, while the other doesn't even remember the things they've been through. I hate that I have to be the one who remembers every little detail while you can't seem to remember me at all."

" Look in my eyes and you will find me, but look in my heart and you will find you."

" I swore to myself it wouldn't happen again. I vowed to myself that this was the end. The end of this longing, this yearning so strong... I said I was over you, but oh I was so wrong."

" A great love? It's when you shed tears for her but still you care for her. It's when she ignored you but you still long for her. It's when she starts loving another, and yet you manage a smile and find the courage to say "I'm happy for you." "

" And there you are.. holding his hand.. and I'm lost.. trying to understand.."

" Missing you isn't the hard part, knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart."

" Since you've been gone... Every morning when I get out of bed, I look into the mirror hoping to find my smile. But as usual, no smile. I look and I look, but it's nowhere to be found. I keep my eyes peeled wherever I go, but still no luck. When I try to think just where it might be... I can't help but wonder... if maybe you know where I left my smile, 'cause the last time I saw it, I was with you."

" When you lose someone, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time."

" To meet, to know, to love, then to part is the sad tale of the human heart."

" I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I never asked for it to begin. For that is the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets."

" The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other."

" They say memories last forever. I sit here, thinking about you, and all the times I had you by my side. I remember the smiles that crept on my face and the happy tears that ran down my cheeks. I see your warm, gentle eyes looking at me, and I can feel your presence when I close my eyes, but when I reach for you, I feel you slipping away... It's like my memory is fading."

" Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you."

" It takes a minute to like someone, and hour to love someone, but to forget someone takes a life time."

" A man is never worth your tears. And the one who is, won't make you cry."

" Of all the moments in my life, you were always there somewhere. Once as a wish. Once as a blessing. And now as the greatest loss I'll ever experience."

" Love hurts when you break up with someone, love hurts even more when they break up with you but love hurts the most when you can't or are too embarrassed to tell the person you feel for that you love them."
Alex Williamz

" I was born the day I met you, lived a while when you loved me, died a little when we broke apart."


care for a quote,anyone?
guess not..
i'd read and remember one or two if i were you..





back and never better..i think..

heys..i'm back..from all the stress and pressure of exams..

tiring..but ya..been around lately.checking stuff.bdays coming up.my friends and my whole family..believe it or not..my whole family of 4; every member,my mum and dad,sis and i are born in August..my mum on the 2nd, me on the 6th,dad on the 12th and sis on the 13th..so its kinda like a whole month big birthday bash thing..lol..

well,things have not been looking bright and fuzzy lately for me..not counting the exams but ya..its just hard for me to go on like this anymore..i just can't stand it..i've been searching through the internet and various ways to overcome this..but i just can't..heh..instead i just look and stare at the screen of my computer; looking at quotes of people about their sad life...in love and work and stuff..heh..

" I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?"

" Sometimes you think you've gotten over a person, but when you see her smile you suddenly realize you're just pretending you're over her to ease the pain of knowing that she will never be yours."

" Me, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you."

" Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don't deserve me. They're right, you don't deserve me, but I deserve you."

" Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult."

has anyone ever had these thoughts in their mind??

i guess i'm not the only one..



Saturday, July 4, 2009

short notice

sorry for the late update..been busy with studying and finishing up my seni kerja kursus..yes, i take seni as an extra subject..not sure whether i can cope with it but at the time i think i can..just a little bit more to study la..

heh..stress is coming back to me..i can see the white hairs forming from my scalp..bleh..

anyways, i'll update as soon as exam ends..which is by the end of this month.. hehe

see ya'll..

ali is taking his time colouring like a little kid..lol

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Way Love Works

I read this while surfing the internet a few months back and when i tried to find it i can't anymore.. lol
but i still remember how the story goes as it struck me a few days ago after i had my emotional breakdown.. dunno why but yeah.. things like this happen to me lots of times already =P
heh.. here's how it goes..

A & J started dating ever since they were in high school. Both loved each other very much. One day, A told J that he's leaving for overseas to further his studies. J was very sad that A had to leave but A assured J that he'll always love her no matter how far he is from her. That night, A wrote a letter to J and he left it by her doorstep. J's father saw the letter as he walked out of the house; read it and placed it on J's desk. The next morning, J woke up and saw the letter lying on her desk. She opened it and was shocked when she read the content of the letter. It read:

Dear J,

I hate you. I never loved you. I never liked you from the very beginning. You make me sick. You're a bitch! I have never loved you. I hate you. And I will never love you.

From,
A

J met up with A at a park that afternoon. He handed her another letter but she did not want to accept it. She slapped him instead and broke up with him on the spot without question. A became depressed after the sudden break up and he killed himself before leaving for his studies. The news of A's death reached J. J watched the news bulletin regarding A's death. According to the reporter, A hanged himself in his bedroom the night after they broke up. In his hand was a piece of paper; a letter to be exact, that was addressed to J. The letter read:


To my beloved J,

I'm sorry if you misunderstood my last letter that I sent to you. I truly, indeed love you. Never once did I ever stop loving you. The only reason I wrote that letter in that way is so that your dad won't find out. You know that your dad doesn't like me. This is the only way so that he could actually give it to you without suspecting anything. I'm sorry if it was hurtful to you. You know very well i love you very much. If you can, please re-read the letter and do as follows:
hate = love
never = always
sick = happy
bitch = angel

I love you with all my heart, my love.

Love,
A

J never gave A a chance to explain himself and he died because of that. J lived with the guilt of killing the only person she ever loved.


This is to everyone out there. Keep your relationships. If you do love that special someone very much stay true and do as much as you can to preserve that relationship you have. This story is not to be followed by anyone, it's just a way of showing people how much love you put into that certain someone..

I hope you enjoyed this little short story.
If it offended anyone, I'm terribly sorry.

See ya :)

Saturday, June 13, 2009

ASC

two weeks of holidays taken up by ASC.. TOMG!! (totally oh my God!!) XD

but i'm not regretting it. all the hard work i've put in along with the others in this Asian Sessions and Council has made this camp a success.

the stress and depression from my problems are taken away from me..hopefully la. i don't really know but it feels so. so i hope it really goes away.

i'll add in more pictures the next time when i'm back in kuching and in front of my computer. lol XD

see ya later..

Monday, June 8, 2009

Stressed

new blog post new day new story..

what do i have for you today

nothing much but lots and lots of stress


this should be a happy blog site but it just goes to show that even a happy blog can be filled with hard and sad posts.

but not for long la

i don't want this blog to be like my old one.

the emo blog XD

ASC is the Asian Session's and Council. Held in St. Lukas' Centre, Kota Padawan and it starts
from the 4th till the 14th of June.

this takes up the holidays that i was looking forward to having my intensive study for my exam..

but..God's calling to serve for this ASC although i've been through alot of HELL lately..

and i mean ALOTTTT of hell..

i don't wanna go into details but before this ASC i've went through a month of severe depression which left me half dead and my parents almost brought me to the hospital for check up.

but with the help of my family and friends, i managed to pick myself up from that period of depression and let go of everything that i had.

well, not really everything but most of the things la.

it wasn't easy then and its still not easy now 'cos i found it harder and harder each living day.

until recently, i broke down during the ASC but i can't tell when.. don't want to reveal too much info.. sorry..

this stress from before ASC and during ASC caused me to burst inside out and everything in me went blank..

literally blank..

there was this deep void in me that i don't think can be filled in this short time when people keep coming to me, saying, "stay strong..time will heal everything.."

same thing same old same old..

heh..its just hard when you keep getting complaints when you practically did nothing wrong or you actually accomplished that particular task without fail or you just do according to what they told you to do and they still want to find fault in you.

its just unfair when you can't say anything about it or even defend yourself about that task that you did properly...sucks much..

well, again i say.. its just hard when you keep doing the right stuff but more and more and more problems keep piling up and you're the one to blame for it when it has nothing to do even with you.. imagine the pain of being stabbed in the back over and over and over again..

and you see yourself bleeding from all those stabs and you can't do anything about it.

that's what i'm feeling right now and its super hard for me to get over this pain.

that's all that i can say for now.. i don't wanna fill up this post with my rants and complains..

read well

cyaz..

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Era of Home Recording

About 1 month ago,i sat for my Grade 8 keyboard exam and it was darn hard.but luckily,with lots and lots of practice(not really actually=3) i passed it with merit marks,83 to be precise.sorry to those whom have thought i got honours,i must've disappointed you all='(

lol.anyways,passing grade 8 means i get to sit for my diploma.but that will be after my spm lar.just too many things happening at the same time now.but rest assured,i will get my diploma once everything's settled.hehe.

okay,back to what the title says.HOME RECORDING.yeap,now,i'm learning how to do my own recording in my own home.not just from the piano or the keyboard.but the whole band kind of recording,voice overs and all.you must be wondering how i can fit a whole band into my teeny weeny house.ah hah!!here's the catch.i don't need to.the band comes solely from my own and beloved Yamaha PSR-S700 keyboard=)

who knew just by using one simple keyboard and a computer could help in making a whole album.that was what my teacher did and now he's teaching me and another of his students how to do so.

my workstation:)

my baby keyboard=)

well that's mainly it.as you're busy reading this blogpost now,i'm either busy recording or doing my arts course work or just studying=P

well,happy reading to all of you.
Peace,
Alistair Yeo.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

A new day

Hey there..first of all,i would like to apologize for the lack of maintenance in my old blog and therefore,to make up for it,i'm creating this new blog which i promise you will be more FUNFUNFUN=) haha..

so i hope you all will enjoy reading this blog which will be less emo and the rest is history.
haha..
happy reading!=)
cyaz!